Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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