he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
