hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
organizing the empties. That sober.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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