Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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