So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
