last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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