i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize