ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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