Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
