Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
