He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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