man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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