You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
