when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
