Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
