I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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