he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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