youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
