Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
