hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
