You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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