I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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