I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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