hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's the barista slut.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
