Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
