he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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