hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
