So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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