you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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