the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
