god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
