like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
