I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
