How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
