that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
