Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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