so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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