just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
