Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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