After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
