Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
