Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
