in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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