her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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