she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
