i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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