What did we do last night that was yellow?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize