i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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