no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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