I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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