I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
