that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
