My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
even my farts smell like vagina
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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