Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
