i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
