a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
