You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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