I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
