i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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