Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
