You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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