Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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