Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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