As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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