Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
